Tattoos of Hope (Part 1)

Classic rock music flowed out of the large speakers on the floor. I closed my eyes and took several deep, controlled breaths to help calm my heart rate. I tried to turn my focus to the familiar music instead of what was about to happen. “In through my nose and slowly out through my mouth. Just like I instruct my patients. It’s only going to be an hour and a half. I got this! Just gotta breathe and stay still,” I tried some motivational self-talk as I sat awkwardly on the soft burgundy bench. My heart thought we were running the Boston Marathon, and apparently, my hands and legs thought so as well by how much they were sweating. 

I tried to have patience while the artist prepared his ink and needles. He poured out each color one by one—pink, red, black, white, and green. He wrapped the needle with some blue saran wrap looking stuff, but it wasn’t doing what he needed it to do. He kept retrying and then gave up. I hope we don’t need that I thought. As he continued to prepare, I attempted to distract myself with the familiar Red Hot Chili Peppers’ song Under the Bridge, discussing the origin with my husband.  Part of me couldn’t believe I was following through with this crazy idea, and the other part was thrilled it was finally happening.

My husband, Dan, sat behind me with a coy grin on his face as though he was trying to hold back laughter, but I knew he was also nervous for me. As the artist brought the needle to my leg, I exhaled like a steam engine, attempting to chug up a hill—slow and steady. I tried not to clench every muscle in my body. I had to see the expressions on my face, and I must admit from the selfies I snapped in the process my expressions were quite amusing. Dan made sure to take multiple pictures to capture the moment of my pain and awkwardness. As the artist colored in the picture, my thigh stung as though multiple little needles were being dragged across my skin. Probably because that’s exactly what was happening.

The event was a big deal for me, because I'm rather a wuss. My brothers will go skydiving and bungee jumping. Not me. No. Thank You. I'm not a fan of heights, bats, snakes, or enclosed places. I'll go on your average roller coaster, but I'll scream my head off the entire time. I've always been the type to talk about getting a tattoo, but that's all it was. Talk. When it came to the follow through, that wasn't going to happen. Until I was shaken to the point I needed to have a distinct mindset engraved on my skin to remind me daily of my new focus. 

• What in your life has caused you to change your focus or mindset?
• Are you in a place in your life where you need to change your focus, but are struggling to see through the fog?
• Has anything shaken you to your core that you needed to do a big reevaluation of your life, purpose, mindset?

Psalm 33:18

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those

 who fear him,

on those whose hope in his steadfast love

Continue to Part 2 here