When a friend asked what word I was going to focus on going into this year, I put some deep serious thought into my answer. After my infertility battle started in 2017, I made “hope” my word for 2018. God knew I needed an overhaul in that department. I left 2018 with a renewed hope in the Father and what He has for my family.

            This year though—2019—what is it going to look like…?

            I’m great at painting a picture of what I want my life to look like—farm house, new job, baby, husband employed… but dwelling on my wants, especially the ones I can’t always control right now, takes my focus off what I can control. I become negative and depressed over my circumstances, but thankfully my renewed hope holds me back from this poisonous behavior. 2019 will be held loosely. I will control what I can and surrender the rest to the Father with open hands.

My biggest fear is being 80 years old, rocking on my front porch, having not accomplished any of my dreams and goals. All I see is time lost, a life not well-lived. I fear complacency, but I let that fear drive me. When I don’t feel like doing x, y, or z, I envision my fear. I’m sitting on my same old little porch. I worked the same stressful job all my life. I never had any adventures. I didn’t write any books. I didn’t run a race. I didn’t fight the good fight. We didn’t foster or adopt. I didn’t take risks. I stayed in my bubble, my comfort zone.

We move in the direction of complacency every moment we let slide by without taking a step towards purpose. Steps might look like reading for 30 minutes a day, working out 3-5 times a week, or planning a Jamaican vacation. With every little step, we’re one action closer to creating a habit and fulfilling a goal. My goal is to be 80 years old on my back porch, looking out at the Blue Ridge Mountains while I reminisce about all I did accomplish.

In 2019, I will change my momentum and participate in my course.  I will not sit back in my sweats, coffee in hand, as I watch the year pass me by and sink into depression when it does. Instead, 2019 is going to be filled with action, determination, goals, and dreams. I will not give into laziness, fear, disappointment, doubt, or any negativity that plagues me and my family. I will grip every moment, day, and action firmly with determination. With tenacity.

Tenacity is “being able to grip something firmly, being very determined.” When we grip something firmly, we don’t let it go easily, at least not without a fight. We do need to have balance between firmly gripping our days and goals all the while holding them loosely. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? We must be open to change or a different direction that our path may take us. Maybe that means our path changes part way through the journey, or that something bigger and better is over the mountain. Either way, when we fix our eyes on the Son and keep pressing through the muck, our lives are going be changed for the better. Whether we reach the goal we started out with or find a new one along the way, having the tenacity to take on each day full-force will no doubt change anyone at the end of the year.

We only have 365 days, 8,760 hours, and 31,536,000 seconds a year.  Let’s grip each day and fight for all it has to offer.

I’m going to be tenacious this year.